BEHIND THE DRAGONS FIRE

Well, Its been some time since Ive been in the position to write for this blog, as many of you may know Ive recently just returned from traveling in Australia for about 8 months, so i didn't really have long term access to a computer to sit down and write. As you can imagine however traveling, as it always seems to do- maybe that's why i love it so much! Did give me many subtle and not so subtle experiences of realizations, awakenings or whatever else you want to call those experiences where you come face to face with truth. So now I'm in the position to be able to write alot more again, I'd like to share with you all the realizations Ive had and continue to have, and the things i learn continually through my own evolution, or simply things i feel the urge to say. It is my hope that my words may resonate with you in some way, and point to the answers lying within each of us, or at least make you smile as you read!

Let us begin...

One thing that has become apparent to me time and time again is this- The dreams we have, we never know where they will lead us, but we have to follow them with all our passion, all our intent, no matter how difficult the road may seem, how slim our chances may appear, no matter how much anyone else tells you you cant do it, or its impossible, just follow them.

When you have a dream of any sort, or many- I know i have heaps! One that when you think about you feel tremendous joy and passion flowing through your body, when the hair on the back of your neck stands up, when you have a moment of insight 'knowing' this is what you should do, when you feel Love, for whatever it may be, maybe its an extension of something you already do, that makes you feel so much joy, a sport you play, a subject you study, a person who's company makes you happy, whatever it is, you must trust it and follow it. But we never know where following will lead us, you may very well manifest your dream into your physical experience, and enjoy every bit of it, or its manifestation may very well lead you on to another dream, all in a gradual flowering and evolving of your being, or maybe you don't even go all the way to the end of your dream, maybe the pursuit of it leads you to something else that feels even more joyous that you may never had realized had you not had the initial courage to follow your dreams. There is no end really, no beginning either, just following your passions and love, wherever they lead.

As i look back over the experience Ive had in this lifetime, it simply amazes me where following my passions and dreams has led me, many have been pursued until the seeming end vision burning in my mind has manifested, only to grow and evolve even more, limitation fallen away and boundaries shattered, some the pursuit of with all my passion and intent have led me to other dreams that i was not able to see before, whatever your dreams are, they are simply to be enjoyed for however long they last, through all their own evolution. They wont ever deliver you happiness, they are an expression of the happiness that you already are. The unfolding of your being and its mission here now, in this time, in this body.

But maybe in the very same instance you envision your dreams and a shiver of excitement runs down your spine, and a fire fills you within, in that same instance your mind filled with doubts creeps in. You start thinking how will you ever manage to do that, you cant see a way and think it impossible, your mind will offer you a million and one reasons why you cant, a million and one reasons why you are not good enough, why you are not worthy, why its impossible. Impossible is nothing and the very fact that you are here, right now, in this body means you are good enough, means you are worthy, its every single being in this universes birth right to feel joy , happiness and love.

Do not turn your mind to how something will be achieved, just focus your thoughts, your intent, your passion on your dreams, believe in them, trust them, and do whatever action is necessary in this moment, that may very well be doing nothing. Trust them , you do not know where they will lead.

You don't need other peoples support and belief in you either, even if every single person in the world told it was impossible, it matters not, you don't need other peoples support, you don't need other peoples approval, you are not living your life for anyone else, you only need your own dreams, the courage and passion to follow them and your own belief in them. Maybe your fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who encourage you to follow your dreams and who give you the greatest gift by seeing you as the unlimited being that you are. And even if you don't right now, trust in your dreams enough and you will soon find yourself surrounded by these people. I consider myself to be lucky i have a handful of true friends in my life, they type that you tell you want to be Tarzan and go and live in the jungle, and they don't tell you you are a lunatic, they come with you to the airport.

Is it really just luck? Or the fact that I've always followed my dreams no matter what that these people are in my life?

Maybe its the things we fear most that conceal our greatest of dreams, Maybe its the sport you want to play at the highest level, but your doubts tell you aren't strong enough , or fast enough, maybe its the music or art you want to create, but your doubts tell you you aren't talented enough, or you don't have enough creative spark, maybe its the person that you feel a connection with, or that you really like, or maybe someone you already love, but your doubts tell you they could never feel the same way, maybe its the world you want to travel, but your doubts tell you you will never have the funds to do it. Maybe its all these doubts all these fears that are stopping you becoming the next champion, creating the most beautiful piece of art or music the world has seen, stopping you asking that girl or guy out, or telling someone how you feel, or getting on that plane or pirate ship. Maybe its all those fears and doubts that are stopping you realizing your own true dreams. Maybe its all those fears and doubts that are preventing you from living your own life's purpose. Maybe its all those fears and doubts that are standing in your way of being an inspiration to countless people who's hearts you will touch by being true to yourself. Maybe its all those fears and doubts and not lack of skill, lack of potential, lack of gifts or talents or love that aren't allowing you to shine like the stars you are made from!

And maybe its those things masked by the greatest fear you need to follow the most

Our deepest fears are like Dragons

Guarding our deepest treasure- Rainer Maria Rilke

The Adventure awaits.........

David Kelso

UNFOLDING PERFECTION

I have come to realize a few things of late.
We never know what is going to happen next, never know where we will go, what we will do, or with whom. We know fully the universal magnitude of what we do, the unfolding perfect reasons why we are guided by our hearts and master within to walk a certain path, to take a certain action, to follow our love, to allow to express through us this perfect unfolding.
We can conceptualise and try to give intellectual reasons for what we do, or for what we love, but really we have no idea why.
Maybe we never will
And that is OK.

I do know however that we will always find ourselves exactly where we need to be, doing exactly what needs to be done, with the people we need to be with. God expresses perfection in every single moment.

Our actions are not our own to claim, our desires are not our own to claim, what we love is not our own to claim, we are simply the vehicle of expression of that love, of the moment itself, of the universe, of God.

What we do in this lifetime is not ours to claim and feel pride for, for they are not works of the human mind, they are the works of cosmic intelligence.

Who is it exactly who claims anything to be there own?

And so we can reach out and embrace whatever may come, not in fear, but rather in knowing that whatever comes, wherever the wind may blow us, wherever the wave may take us, its all perfect, everything happens for a reason, a reason far beyond out intellectual understanding.
And that is OK.
We dont need to try and control what our hearts guide us to do, what arises, try to control some outcome, but rather completely surrender, and realize that the notion we have any control what so ever over what happens is the illusion.

Its not a case of either letting or not letting God express through us, of having control or letting go, its a case of letting ourselves realize the illusion is that we have control. You can either become one and fully surrender or you can split yourself and try to resist. Resistance is creating illusion.

I recently knew i had to travel to Australia. For what reason i had no idea, i just knew i had to go, and right now. I could conceptualise and list a bunch of intellectual reasons why i had to go, but really i have no idea, or the intellectual reasons i could think up extend in a spiraling magnitude that cannot be 'understood' .
Now in Australia, i still dont have a clue for what reason, or what i will will happen next, I have realized i have no control over what will happen, or what i must do.
Maybe one day the reasons why will be revealed to me....
Or maybe they wont
And that is Ok.

I do know its for a perfect reason, and whatever happens is perfect unfolding. Right where i need to be, always, just where i am.

Letting go into the arms of God, is not letting go of control, for we never had it in the first place, its letting go of illusion.

Surrender is surrendering our resistance, our illusion.

Hand it all over, for it was never yours in the first place.

Follow your heart and nothing else

Notice how present a flower is, how surrendered to life- Eckhart Tolle

The Aventure awaits.....

Live free

Kelso

WHERE HEAVEN BEGINS

I drift away effortlessly into the moment and everything that arises, every single thing is sheer beauty, I am mesmerised. But what is that makes me melt way into the here and now, what is it that reveals to me so much divine beauty?

Is it The amazing performance of the acrobats before me on stage, is it the colours spinning and twirling through the air, is it witnessing the human form move in ways that defy what the mind believes it can do? Or is it the sounds, the silence of anticipation, the faint beat of the performers’ heart that you can feel beat in time with your own, or the thunderous roar of applause?
Is it the heat I can feel surrounding me, the heat and life energy of all those that surround me, sharing this same experience, is it the electricity surging through my body now, is it the awareness of my own breath and heartbeat of those sitting next to me, is it the company I'm with?

Or is it the moment itself? Is it the still silence that holds all of this that is happening, that is holding this ever changing canvas, holding all of existence in its mighty paw, the no- thingness, that allows all this beautiful experience to be?

A few hours have past now since the magnificent experience of the Chinese state circus, with only a few hours of sleep, Dawn is just beginning to break.

I drift away effortlessly into the moment and everything that arises, every single thing is sheer beauty. But what is that makes me melt way into the here and now, what is it that reveals to me so much divine beauty?

Is it the Scottish wilderness I see as I pass through the mighty hills and mountains, is it the brilliant colours emerging from the darkness, reflected by the first shimmering of light, is it the strange but beautiful shapes cut away into the sides of hills and rocks by the master sculptor of nature? Is it the way the stream flows down from the hillsides echoing a brilliant shimmer of life. Is it the way a lone tree hangs precariously on the edge of a hill top, living and expressing fully each and every moment? Is it the soothing noise of the pouring rain outside of the car, the life pouring from the heavens , is it this time of day, on the cusp between night and day, where a small shimmer of the breaking sun illuminates the darkness, this time when the veils between heaven and earth are thinnest. Is it the silence inside the car, is it the beating hearts of those around me, the gentle rhythms of their breath as they sleep, is it the angel sleeping on my shoulder, is it the company I'm with?

Or is it the still silence of right here, right now that is holding all this… that is experiencing all this in a single moment through my eyes, this moment where I no longer know where the earth ends and heaven begins.

And it no longer matters what it is………..

We like to separate things, reality and non reality, form and emptiness, stillness and movement, spiritual and mundane, heaven and earth. But in reality, there is no such distinction.

Form is emptiness , emptiness is form- Heart Sutra.

What arises in the moment and the moment which holds it are two sides of the same golden coin, they cannot be separated, or categorised, they are each, one and other- only one.

Every single thing that arises in this moment, every single experience, every action you take, every thought you think, every feeling you have, every once of joy, every once of sadness, every single thing is a facet to the same brilliant diamond that reflects the most beautiful of all lights.
And that diamond, that brilliant diamond that holds within it an entire universe is your own heart, the light it reflects…..
Is you.

In the most serene stillness there is movement, and in that complete movement lies the most perfect stillness.

The Adventure Awaits………
David Kelso

WOBBLING STILLNESS

We have a tendency to judge our experiences as good or bad, some of our experiences can send us spiralling upward to the gates of Heaven and others knock us down to the pits of hell- Or so it seems.

I believe that every single thing we experience, no matter how seemingly significant or insignificant, no matter how seemingly good or bad, is perfect, and stems from something far beyond what our minds can conceive of, from a wisdom that is completely unfathomable to us in our dualistic mindset, where we judge our experience, categorise our experience, separate ourselves from our experience and from everything else.

Everything that happens is perfect, things can happen no other way, because that’s the way the thing has happened. And they all happen for a perfect reason at a perfect time, and are all a complete expression - the only thing that prevents us from experiencing this perfection is our own perceptions.

We judge and categorise every experience and therefore miss the underlying perfection in it all, the underlying oneness in it all.

The practice of Zazen is a complete expression of life and so reflects all of life. People often think what sitting in Zazen ‘should’ be is some blessed out state, complete peace and serenity, utter stillness, complete oneness. And certainly for some moments during sitting, even for entire sitting or even days you do become very still, very settled, there is a dropping off of mind and body, you can feel the aliveness of every cell of your body, feel like you are not breathing but being breathed by God, and experience the most profound experiences of peace I have ever known. But there are also times when you are completely distracted by your thoughts, dragged every which way by them, you are completely distracted by your physical discomfort, your legs are numb and feel like they are about to fall off, your back tightens and wont seem to relax , your shoulders keep tensing, you are in so much pain you just want to stand up and walk out, you are so bored you feel like biting through your own tongue just for something to do, for some excitement. Most of the time though, you are just somewhere in between all that, nothing extreme at all, just sitting, wobbling between comfort and discomfort, tension and relaxation, stillness and distraction. You experience is just as it is, just sitting.

And so people begin to categorise their experience of sitting in Zazen, the peaceful, blissful moments get classified as a ‘good sitting’ the distracted, uncomfortable ones as ‘bad sitting’ . But really any such distinction is simply illusion. I’ve come to realise that my experience is perfect no matter what, that we are always wobbling, not between good or bad, but between perfection and perfection. What could be more perfect than what is?

Why would you bother doing something like that? People may ask- sounds horrible.
To me that question is the same as asking , why would you bother living?

Our lives reflect this in entirety, wobbling between perfection, that we judge and perceive as good or bad. We imagine that through our experiences we move along a line that at one end is bad and the other end is good. We all desperately try to crawl our way along that line, to finally reach the end, to reach the bliss that it promises, but it always seem we take one step forwards and two steps back on this line, the bad point of it constantly chasing our tail, creeping up on us as we look back in fear.

But if we just let go of our own judgement , of our limited perceptions, to see beyond what our vision can see, we could see, that’s both points of the line are one and the same, perfection, we are not travelling along some line at all, we are centred within a circle, perfection all around us, and we are the circle too. The great wobbling between two points that are the same, within a circle, is really no movement at all, in fact it is utter perfect stillness- Our wobbling is stillness.

It once took my heart to be broken for me to realise what was truly inside it, an unconditional love, with no opposite. To judge the situation , to call the pain of a broken heart ‘bad’ would have been to make myself blind and deaf to something magnificent, something so very beautiful, the sight and sound of my heart being broken open, opening up to that stillness that was always there, that was always ‘me’ unmoved by the seeming changes of the tide.

Fear not experiences changing, forms seeming to come and seeming to go, they are all perfect, all happening for some reason unfolding, one experience closes over so another can blossom. And they are all so very still.

Everything that happens is simply just s it is, through our perception we can see any experience as either an angel reaching down from the heavens and helping us along our way, showing us the beauty all around us, or we can see it as a demon dragging us through the dirt, holding us in darkness.
If both are illusion the question is, which one empowers us more?
You cant fight against the darkness and win, but if you just let go , just surrender, the light comes in all by itself, the demon you were facing becomes an angel, the darkness, light.

Many of us spend years stumbling through the darkness, searching for the light and joy of life. We blunder along waiting for the light to shine, trying to remain faithful, open and ready to respond. But in spite of all our efforts, the place , the timing, and the occasion of our enlightenment are often determined by forces greater than our own.- Tom Cowan

Relax- its supposed to happen!

The Adventure Awaits....

David Kelso

HOWL OF LOVE

‘If you find out what it is you love to do and give your whole life to it, then there is no contradiction, and in that state your being is your doing.’- Jiddu Krishnamurti

As someone with many passions in life, something that has arisen more than once for me and for others Ive spoken to who are also people of many passions is this- What one of my passions, when I am not attached to anything yet can see the beauty and potential in everything, then which one do I follow? Which one do I immerse myself in? Which one do I dedicate my entirety to?

Someone very wise once said to me that - ‘People become very good, become masters at doing one simple thing, and we call them great’

For a long time I asked what my one thing may be, what is I'm supposed to do , when there is so much I love?

In Reality it matters not whether in my lifetime I become a circus acrobat, a writer, a teacher, a Shaman, a musician or a tattoo artist, for they are all equal in Reality, no thing, no experience is any better or worse than any other, no life any greater, there is no lifetime, no birth, no death, for there is no coming or going, no separation, no I, there simply is. Everything, every thought, every experience, every life is just that Reality, that Oneness, Universe, God and Goddess experiencing itself through you. Or in other words- Its Reality experiencing itself through Reality.

The question then is not, what is it I choose to do with my lifetime, it is what is choosing me?
This is what speaks through our hearts, its not a case of what you think you should do, or what anyone else thinks you should do, its about when your fully open, fully expressing, what does your heart guide you to do? It is following whatever it is that you love with every ounce of yourself, it is following what you love like one single racing towards a target, you are the shooter, the arrow and the target. It is trusting completely in that which you cannot see or name. It is letting go of ‘you’ , a complete expression.

But still what if there are many things you love , how do you choose?
You don’t have to

By following what you love, by doing what’s in your heart, what’s most important to you, things have a tendency to align and adjust themselves, some things may drop away from your experience, others may appear, whatever it you do is evolving through you. By letting whatever falls away and whatever arises naturally requires true honesty with oneself, it requires non attachment, non clinging, non judgement and no resistance, it requires complete surrender, and that is complete strength.

I grew up first and foremost training in the martial arts, as what I do has evolved through me I found my love and passion for my martial arts training evolving and changing over the years towards circus performance, towards displays of freak strength and flexibility. This to me was a natural progressions that came simply from listening to and following my heart, no agonising decision was ever required. Now in my training I don’t practice martial arts, handstands and splits have become my art, my expression, not for any lack of love, passion or inspiration from the martial arts, but form simply allowing whatever wants to express through me free.
Everything evolves……and yet no-thing changes.
It’s a matter of doing whatever it is you love, until what your supposed to do finds you.

Courage and brutal honest are needed at every moment, its easy to mistake instant gratification for your hearts desire if you are asleep, you have to be fully alert, fully alive, listening to the silence.
Going to a party on a Saturday night with free food and free drink sounds at first a hell of a lot more appealing than doing dead lifts outside in the pissing rain, but then , as I find myself warming up and heading outside to face the iron its clear to me what I truly want, what is truly expressing through me,

What is it that wants to express through you?
Listen
Truly listen……

As i look look now to the night moon, as the thunder of love bangs in my heart and courses through my veins, it fills my lungs and a mighty howl passes from my lips, i know now why i howl, the moon and i, the moon and the wolf, we are one. This is love.

The Adventure awaits.....

David Kelso

THE PHOENIX OF STILLNESS

The universe manifests itself through us at every single moment, it is us, and is the moment itself.
The manifest world seems to change, old forms dying, new forms being born , one moment, one hour, one day, one year, one lifetime ending and a new one constantly being reborn. The moment itself which we are completely inseparable from seems to die and be born anew.
The phoenix has been a symbol throughout many cultures and many thousands of years for this cycle of death and rebirth, of new rising from the ashes of the old.

A phoenix is a mythical bird with a tail that is beautiful gold and red plumage. At the end of its life-cycle the phoenix builds itself a nest of cinnamon twigs that it then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises.

This appears to us as apparent truth, and on the surface of things, it certainly is. But as we go deeper down the rabbit hole that is reality an entirely different truth begins to be realized.
Hold on Alice-

There is no birth and no death, there just is

There is only ever right now, there is complete expression right now, nothing else, no before, no after, just this moment as it is right now. The past exists in you as a memory, but it exists right now, the future lives as a dream, but it dreams through you right now.
In this fleeting moment, in this complete expression of everything and no-thing there is complete and utter stillness, no motion that is the womb for all motion.
For birth and death there must be ‘someone’ or ‘something’ to be born and to die, and this takes us to the very question that echoes like thunder into reality- who is this me?
What we think we are and what we believe other things around us to be are mental concepts we use to label and differentiate, the ego, its opinions and its beliefs.
That is not to say there isn’t something …..

Something ineffable

The phoenix that lives, the phoenix that dies, the phoenix that burns up, the phoenix that rises above the flames at every stage, at every moment, just is, it is complete expression right now. At the heart of its evolution, at the heart of beauty at the heart of its rising, there is only stillness, there is no best or greatest moment that its been waiting for, it expresses fully, every moment. In this moment it is, and so are you!

Its always just beginning.
Everything is always just beginning- Jakusho Kwong

The Adventure awaits......

David Kelso

IS THAT MY WAVE ?

When we become still inside, we are confronted with right action to take in any situation, or rather the right action begins to happen through us, there is no longer any 'me' who takes the action just the expression at that moment as part of the whole. In Brutal terms- your actions are stemming from correct function. No longer are you doing something to get somewhere actions do not stem from egoic fearing and wanting, cause and effect have been transcended. Everything is just pure expression, the dancer realising they are the dance.

That being said, when we become still and we are faced with some particular action to take, we may also glimpse a destination, not an ultimate destination, but simply something that will come to pass through our action right now, a goal or dream if you will. But the destination is not separate from out experience now, its already all part of a unified whole.

When we have a vision or goal before us it is vitally important not to then make this moment a means to that end.

'Even though you have a goal, what you are doing in the present moment needs to remain the focal point of your attention: otherwise you will fall out of alignment with universal purpose' Eckhart Tolle

Does that mean you are not inspired by a goal or vision? Hell no , you become on fire for what you do, but your fire is for the doing, for the moment, its the joy of doing something completely, of burning every trace of yourself, of being.

When we have a vision or goal, the ego mind can sometimes bind our expression through fear and self sabotage. Fear of annihilation, fear and belief that you are undeserving of whatever goal you have can you freeze you.

It may well be that right action that is expressing through you is guiding you to take action that to the world may seem crazy, you may need to take seeming risks, to pour your everything into anything requires great courage. It requires you to expose yourself entirely to drop all masks, to stand naked before the world and be moved by God. It requires you to die to the past, die to all your beliefs, die to everything you think you know, die to everything you think you are, to become a blank sheet. The ego knows that it will be its end, that you will realise it never existed at all.

It doesn't mean that everytime you have a vision or a goal that you need to quit your job, move away, or change your entire life situation, although it may. It means that when you become still whatever action stems from your heart you have the courage to follow it and follow it entirely, no looking back, no regrets whatever you choose to do to do fully and accept the consequences of your actions.

It means that even though you may be shitting yourself, you transcend fear and realise that ultimately there are no risks, there is no good , no bad, things are just as they are, you just have to trust your heart and follow it, what is there to be afraid of? what is there to loose? How can you ever loose anything that is real?

Is that my wave? that big one? I might die....

Of course you will.

And then you will both be the wave and the rider at the same time.

Ride the wave, wherever it may take you

Have no fear

After all you are eternal don't you know?

The adventure awaits.....

David Kelso